


for the love of god please let me leave this hellhole - an NDRV3 chatfic

by bandsaw



Series: gc hell [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), F/F, Hospitalization, Humor, Kaito's Grandparents - Freeform, M/M, Multi, References to Illness, Suicidal Thoughts, also kiibo is human here, he the shsl robotics engineer, ill add more warnings as needed, rated m now bc Reasons, right now tho? memes, tenko is hard to write, the entire cast baybee, this is gonna be a fucking shitshow, this is probably really bad but yknow what fuck it im having fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2019-11-15 17:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18077498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandsaw/pseuds/bandsaw
Summary: well. everyone else is doing it so here's my take on the meme crew(part of this is an excuse to write saioumota in a chatfic bc i haven't seen it before and they my ot3 so. Yea)





	1. welcome to the meme crew

**Author's Note:**

> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome  
> here is the meme crew in full meme glory. also if u didn't read the tags kiibo is human he's the shsl robotics engineer. double also shuuichi is gonna act like chapter 1 shuuichi for a bit. he shy boi. For Now. triple also they moved into dorms early kinda how you do at college. except it's high school. school hasn't started yet tho they're just There
> 
> this entire first chapter is a massive train wreck but i gotta introduce everyone. there will kinda sorta be a plot soon i pwomise
> 
> edit: i forgot to add this but ryouma exists so suicidal implications/thoughts will be present

(3:15 PM)

 

**_Kokichi Ouma has added Shuuichi Saihara, Kaede Akamatsu, and 13 others to the server!_ **

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** owo

 

**Kaito Momota:** uh. hi ig. we barely know each other why’d you make a group chat lol

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** to talk to all my wonderful new friends of course!   
  
**Korekiyo Shinguuji:** I mean no offense, but I feel this will all go downhill relatively quickly. Regardless, I am more than happy to interact with you all. School starts in exactly a week, correct?

 

**Kirumi Toujou:** Yes, school starts in a week.

 

**Maki Harukawa:** Ouma’s presence alone has already made this group chat a living hell

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** ok ignoring that

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** MOM

 

**Kirumi Toujou:** Please don’t call me that.

 

**Korekiyo Shinguuji:** That took far shorter than expected.

 

**Tenko Chabashira:** he’s just your typical degenerate male what do you expect

 

**Shuuichi Saihara:** Ah, don’t you think that’s a little harsh? We’ve only just recently met each other…

 

**Tenko Chabashira:** DEGENERATE DON’T TEST ME

 

**_Shuuichi Saihara has gone offline_ **

 

**Kaito Momota:** hey!!! don’t insult my sidekick like that!!!!

 

**Kaede Akamatsu:** guys, please stop fighting! we’ve only been in this group chat for like, five minutes!

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Gonta agrees! Gonta’s excited to meet all his new friends! :D

 

**Miu Iruma:** hey gonta

 

**_Miu Iruma has been muted for 20 minutes by Kokichi Ouma._ **

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** in this house we do not corrupt the pure bug boi

 

**Rantarou Amami:** thank god

 

**Tsumugi Shirogane:** Protecc the smols! uwu

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** no one gets ur uwu speech tsumugi lol

 

**Tsumugi Shirogane:** :(

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Eh? Was Miu going to say something bad?   
  
**Kiibo Idabashii:** She… kind of always does…

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** oh hey look it’s the robot fucker

 

**_Kiibo Idabashii has gone offline_ **

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** lolololololol

 

**_Ryouma Hoshi has left the server_ **

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** oho?

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** D:

 

**_Gonta Gokuhara has added Ryouma Hoshi into the server_ **

 

**Ryouma Hoshi:** please just let me leave this hellhole

 

**Himiko Yumeno:** mood but. wait. does everyone have admin privileges

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** for now :)

 

**_Ryouma Hoshi has changed their username_ **

 

**i want to die:** nice

 

**Kaito Momota:** dude are you ok?

 

**i want to die:** no

 

**Angie Yonaga:** nyahaha!! angie can help!!!!

 

**i want to die:** does this help involve murdering me

 

**Shuuichi Saihara:** please don’t…

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** D: do you want a hug?

 

**i want to die:** ok yknow what? that’s pure

 

**_Kokichi Ouma has changed one username_ **

 

**pure tennis boi:** nvm

 

**Kokichi Ouma:** :3c

 

(4:00 PM)

 

**_Kokichi Ouma has changed 16 usernames_ **

 

**panta gremlin:** have fun lol

 

**space jam:** yknow normally id say i hate you but you know what? i fUCKING LOVE THIS MOVIE

 

**stabby mcstab:** Please don’t get him started again for the love of god

 

**stabby mcstab:** What the fuck.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** lol is hawukawa upsetti spaghetti? owo???

 

**stabby mcstab:** I will kill you.

 

**robocop:** Please don’t! 

 

**anime is life:** Personally I quite like my username~!

 

**weed man:** no surprises there. also i dont even smoke weed what slander is this

 

**kowokichi owoma:** cause ya hair green

 

**weed man:** that’s fair

 

**pure bug boi:** Gonta likes his name too! :D But, how come everyone’s always calling Gonta pure?   
  


**pure tennis boi:** bc you are pure

 

**pure bug boi:** Oh!!!   
  
**pure bug boi:** Wait… our names match!   
  
**anime is life:** :eyesemoji:

 

**weed man:** tsumugi no we talked about this

 

**pussy destroyer:** HAHAHAA FINALLY

 

**pussy destroyer:** IM BACK BITCHES

 

**shaving my piano:** welcome back!

 

**team mom:** Kokichi, I thought I made it quite clear not to call me that.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** call you what? :3

 

**team mom:** I’m changing my nickname.

 

**team mom:** Did you remove our admin privileges?

 

**the gayest one here:** you degenerate i swear i’ll cut your dick off!!!

 

**kowokichi owoma:** good luck lol

 

**shingucci:** Ouma, I’m honestly quite disappointed. This is a rather plain nickname for someone that calls themselves a “memelord.”

 

**kowokichi owoma:** tbh ur such a cryptid i couldn’t think of anything else

 

**kowokichi owoma:** actually wait

 

**_kowokichi owoma has changed 1 username_ **

 

**local cryptid:** This shall suffice, I suppose.

 

**magic isnt real:** heeeey does being an anthropologist mean you study memes

 

**magic isnt real:** who did this

 

**the gayest one here:** KOKICHI YOU DEGENERATE

 

**_the gayest one here has gone offline_ **

 

**kowokichi owoma:** lol

 

**kowokichi owoma:** why did i hear a door slam

 

**kowokichi owoma:** OH HECKSHKG

 

**_kowokichi owoma has gone offline_ **

 

**magic isnt real:** f

 

**weed man:** f

 

**local cryptid:** Unfortunate. To answer your question Himiko, yes. I do - unfortunately - study memes.

 

**weed man:** haha memeologist

 

**weed man:** that actually is kinda cool though

 

**local cryptid:** Thank you.

 

**space jam:** hey where’s my sidekick???!?!

 

**pussy destroyer:** probally holed up in his room lol

 

**shaving my piano:** miu!!

 

**pussy destroyer:** what? ya’ll know im right

 

**pussy destroyer:** go get that dick spaceman

 

**_space jam has gone offline_ **

 

**pussy destroyer:** LOL HE DIDN’T EVEN RESPOND

 

**artsy fartsy:** :lennyface:

 

**weed man:** of all people to use the lenny face, i didn’t think angie would be the first one

 

**artsy fartsy:** angie is full of surprises!!!!

 

**pure tennis boi:** terrifying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: artsy fartsy  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	2. iTs liKE aN iCE cReAM dISpENSERERER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which kokichi fucking dies
> 
> (no tws btw this is literally just memes)
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

1 week later, 1:20 PM

 

**kowokichi owoma:[ohmygoshthereisliterallysoapeverywhere.mov](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xzD3R9JP64)**

**kowokichi owoma:** HELP

**space jam:** A

**pussy destroyer:** BAHAHAHAH

**pussy destroyer:** GOOD FUCKING LUCK

**space jam:** HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT

**edgy detective:** Kokichi, it’s the first day of school…

**edgy detective:** Why are you back at the dorms anyway? There’s still classes going on

**kowokichi owoma:** NOT IMPORTANT

**kowokichi owoma:** and why are u on ur phone in the middle of classes lol

**edgy detective:** fair point

**kowokichi owoma:** ok no but really PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE MOM LOGS ON

**_team mom is online_ **

**kowokichi owoma:** _ HECC _

**team mom:** Kokichi.

**kowokichi owoma:** yes

**space jam:** IM FUCKING WHEEZINGHJDHKGD

**pure bug boi:** Is Kaito okay?

**stabby mcstab:** he got his phone taken away

**team mom:** Kokichi, listen to me very closely.

**kowokichi owoma:** yea

**team mom:** I am on my way to the dorms.

**team mom:** The benefits of class letting out early. For me, not for you.

**team mom:** I expect that to be cleaned up in exactly fifteen minutes.

**kowokichi owoma:** IDK WHAT THE FUCK IM DOING

**kowokichi owoma:** THERE ARENT ANY PAPER TOWELS

**pure tennis boi:** i haven’t laughed this hard in years

**kowokichi owoma:** HELP MOM’S GONNA KICK MY ASS

**weed man:** have you checked the closet

**kowokichi owoma:** A

**_kowokichi owoma is offline_ **

**weed man:** there we go

**pussy destroyer:** AHJAHKFKFJAGJHGJK OK HOLD ON U TWINK IM OTW

**pussy destroyer:** i’ll fuckin fix that dishwasher. u clean up whatever the fuck u just did

**kowokichi owoma:** FASTER

**local cryptid:** How fascinating!

**pure tennis boi:** literally what about this is fascinating

**pure tennis boi:** besides the fact that it’s fucking hilarious

**local cryptid:** The school year has just started, and already something completely unexpected has happened.

**local cryptid:** Humanity truly is wonderous!

**pure tennis boi:** right

**weed man:** good point lol

3:15 PM

**robocop:** What exactly did I miss?

**space jam:** iTs liKE aN iCE cReAM dISpENSERERER

**magic isnt real:** oh cool you got your phone back. congrats

**space jam:** HELL YEA I DID

**kowokichi owoma:**  KAITO U SHUT UR FUCK-

**the gayest one here:** THAT’S WHY IT SMELLED LIKE SOAP????

**_pussy destroyer has pinned a message_ **

**space jam:** THANK YOU FOR PINNING THAT VIDEO

**weed man:** rip kokichi

**weed man:** you know we won’t let you forget this right

**kowokichi owoma:** GFDI

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: artsy fartsy  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood
> 
> this is literally the only idea i had for this chapter im sorry it's so short askhshkgkhjsg


	3. movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it movie time
> 
> also antfarm dickhole is real. yea
> 
> edit: do NOT google antfarm dickhole
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

12:45 PM

 **space jam:** KOKICHI I FUCKING HATE YOU

 **weed man:** u good?

 **stabby mcstab:** For once we agree on something

 **kowokichi owoma:** :3c

 **pure bug boi:** D: ?

\---

**_DM > Rantaro Amami and Kokichi Ouma_ **

**Kokichi Ouma:** lol i tricked kaito into thinking im a flat earther

 **Rantaro Amami:** holy shit

 **Rantaro Amami:** and he bought it?

 **Kokichi Ouma:** YEP

\---

 **space jam:** SON OF A BITCH IS A FUCKING FLAT EARTHER

 **edgy detective:** Um… are you sure that’s true?

 **space jam:** OF COURSE IM SURE HE WOULDNT SHUT UP ABOUT IT

 **kowokichi owoma:** nope! i lied!

 **space jam:** oh thank god

 **kowokichi owoma:** the earth is actually a pyramid!

 **space jam:** YOU MOTHERFUCKER

 **pure bug boi:** But the Earth is round?

 **space jam:** THANK YOU GONTA

 **pure bug boi:** You’re welcome?

 **pussy destroyer:** PFFTAJHSJGSHKG

 **shaving my piano:** i would just like you to know miu is laughing her ass off

 **kowokichi owoma:** PIANO IDIOT CURSING??? :0

 **shaving my piano:** listen

 **shaving my piano:** i had like. two hours of sleep last night i

 **weed man:** take your time

 **kowokichi owoma:** oh mood actually lol

 **team mom:** It is only the first week of school?

 **pure tennis boi:** yea

 **edgy detective:** yea

 **kowokichi owoma:** yea

 **magic isnt real:** are you like. ok

 **the gayest one here:** himiko! don’t talk to those degenerates

 **magic isnt real:** i asked like one question… nyeh

 **kowokichi owoma:** nya :3c

 **anime is life:** nya! owo

 **weed man:** fuck no

4:15 PM

 **pure bug boi:** Pardon Gonta, but what does “mood” mean? Gonta’s a bit unfamiliar with all the slang everyone is using!

 **kowokichi owoma:** unfamiliar you say? :3c

 **kowokichi owoma:** i will teach u, young padawan.

 **pure bug boi:** Gonta doesn’t know what that is either, but thank you Kokichi!

 **kowokichi owoma:** anyway when someone says mood it basically just means you relate to it

 **space jam:** YOU HAVEN’T SEEN STAR WARS?

 **kowokichi owoma:** oh great! space idiot’s here!

 **space jam:** LISTEN UP

 **space jam:** WE NEED. A MOVIE NIGHT

 **shaving my piano:** that’s actually a really good idea!

 **artsy fartsy:** could angie interest everyone in antfarm dickhole? :3c

 **shaving my piano:** nvm

 **space jam:** ANTFARM _WHAT_

 **pure bug boi:** _ABSOLUTELY NOT_

 **pussy destroyer:** IM FUCKING WHEEZING

 **space jam:** WAIT GONTA HAVE YOU SEEN THAT???

 **pure bug boi:** UNFORTUNATELY

 **kowokichi owoma:** did miu send it to you

 **pure bug boi:** .

 **pure bug boi:** yes

 **space jam:** MIU HOW COULD YOU

 **pussy destroyer:** IT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS

 **kowokichi owoma:** send me that link im curious lol

 **pure bug boi:** please don’t. you will regret it

 **pure tennis boi:** that’s the most ominous thing i’ve ever heard

 **pure tennis boi:** also miu?

 **pussy destroyer:** YEA LOL

**_pure tennis boi is offline_ **

**pussy destroyer:** fuck

6:20 PM

 **shaving my piano:** ok so antfarm dickhole and miu getting herself killed i think a movie night is a good idea!

 **pussy destroyer:** IM NOT DEAD

 **pure tennis boi:** yet

 **pussy destroyer:** TF

 **shaving my piano:** anyway! saturday sounds like a good day since it’s a weekend. any suggestions?

 **shaving my piano:** besides antfarm dickhole

**_space jam is online_ **

**space jam:** SPACE JAM

 **kowokichi owoma:** spaceballs

 **kowokichi owoma:** oh

 **space jam:** YOOOOO

 **kowokichi owoma:** oh no

 **weed man:** the minions movie

 **local cryptid:** No.

 **edgy detective:** You have an oddly extreme hatred towards minions, Korekiyo

 **edgy detective:** Also uh. Are you okay, Kokichi?

 **kowokichi owoma:** dont

 **kowokichi owoma:** dont watch antfarm dickhole

 **pure bug boi:** Gonta told you…

 **kowokichi owoma:** yea

 **artsy fartsy:** your hubris will be your downfall! :3

 **space jam:** hey wtf does that mean

 **shaving my piano:** guys! we’re getting off topic!

 **space jam:** oh right movies uh

 **space jam:** i have like. a fuck ton of space shit

 **kowokichi owoma:** gee! who woulda guessed!

 **robocop:** I know it’s my username, but Robocop is actually not bad

 **robocop:** Also Terminator

 **weed man:** nerd

 **robocop:** Proudly!

 **anime is life:** STUDIO GHIBLI

 **kowokichi owoma:** MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO IS ADORABLE

 **anime is life:** YES WE HAVE TO WATCH IT

 **anime is life:** AND HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE

 **pure bug boi:** Gonta’s never seen any Studio Ghibli movies, but Gonta has heard they’re very good!  
**anime is life:** WATCHING MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO IS MANDATORY NOW

 **anime is life:** YOU MUST BE EDUCATED

 **pure bug boi:** Okay!

 **kowokichi owoma:** Y E S

 **edgy detective:** Howl’s Moving Castle is my favorite, personally

 **kowokichi owoma:** is it bc u have the hots for howl

 **edgy detective:** ...mmaybe

 **kowokichi owoma:** gay for howl solidarity

 **shaving my piano:** great! so, saturday works for everyone?

 **edgy detective:** Yea, that’s fine with me

 **kowokichi owoma:** yep!

 **team mom:** Shall I get snacks?

 **shaving my piano:** sure!

 **artsy fartsy:** that works for angie~!

 **space jam:** hell yea!

 **the gayest one here:** tenko will admit she has a weakness for studio ghibli…

 **anime is life:** :eyesemoji:

 **pussy destroyer:** HELL YEA ILL  BE THERE

 **pure bug boi:** Gonta is fine with that!

 **pure tennis boi:** im going just for my neighbor totoro

 **pure bug boi:** Can Gonta bring the Bee Movie?

 **kowokichi owoma:** yes.

 **pure bug boi:** :D

 **magic isnt real:** i haven’t seen my neighbor totoro in years….

 **shaving my piano:** ok then! saturday it is!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: artsy fartsy  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood
> 
> next chapter will be movie night


	4. movie night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey :)))
> 
> kaito's arc is starting soon :)))  
> tw: mentions of illness
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

6:30 AM

**kowokichi owoma:** owo what’s this

**pussy destroyer:** bitch i just woke up

**pussy destroyer:** what u want

**kowokichi owoma:** movie night tomorrow uwu

**pussy destroyer:** OH SHIT

**pure bug boi:** Gonta’s very excited!

**magic isnt real:** nyeh…….

**artsy fartsy:** good morning~!

**magic isnt real:** i wanna go back to bed…..

**edgy detective:** mood

**weed man:** mood

**kowokichi owoma:** mood

**team mom:** Mood

**kowokichi owoma:** omg mom is memeing

**shaving my piano:** god that’s a mood

8:30 AM

**kowokichi owoma:** hmmmm

**kowokichi owoma:** hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**weed man:** dude we’re in class

**kowokichi owoma:** yea

**kowokichi owoma:** but haven’t you noticed a certain someone is missing?

**stabby mcstabby:** ...Yea. I haven’t seen Kaito all day, now that I think about it.

**edgy detective:** I hope he’s doing ok…

\---

**_DM > Kokichi Ouma and Kaito Momota_ **

**Kokichi Ouma:** owo?

**Kaito Momota:** dude tf do you wjant

**Kokichi Ouma:** oh noes! is poor momo-chan sick?!!??!!

**Kokichi Ouma:** how terrible!!!

**Kaito Momota:** it’s not that bad dude. just kinda feel like shit that’s all

**Kokichi Ouma:** the others are worried, yknow!

**Kaito Momota:** yea, ik. just don’t feel like typing much

**Kaito Momota:** i’ll totally be there for movie night though!!

**Kaito Momota:** like hell i’ll be missing that!!

**Kaito Momota:** anyway imma pass out. tell the others not to worry. and thanks for the uh. concern ig?

**Kokichi Ouma:** no problemo!

\---

**kowokichi owoma:** he’s fine lol, just sick

**stabby mcstabby:** How do you know?

**kowokichi owoma:** dmed him, duh!

**kowokichi owoma:** wooow, was i really the first?

**kowokichi owoma:** man, do you guys really not care for him as much as you say you do? how cruel! :(((((

**edgy detective:** What? Where did that come from?

**edgy detective:** We’re just in class, that’s all

**kowokichi owoma:** hmm… okay, i’ll believe you just this once shuumai!

**edgy detective:** ...Thanks?

\---

**_DM > Rantaro Amami and Kokichi Ouma_ **

**Rantaro Amami:** hey kokichi

**Kokichi Ouma:** yea

**Rantaro Amami:** do u have a crush on kaito lol

**Kokichi Ouma:**

**Kokichi Ouma:** what

**Rantaro Amami:** lol you totally do

**Kokichi Ouma:** .

\---

**_Kokichi Ouma has created the “PLS HELP IM GAY” server!_ **

**_Kokichi Ouma has added 3 people!_ **

**_Kokichi Ouma has changed 4 names!_ **

**kowokichi owoma:** THIS IS UR FAULT RANTARO

**weed man:** lmaaaoooo i was right

**weed man:** u got the hots for space man

**kowokichi owoma:** LISTEN.

**kowokichi owoma:** IM NOT HERE FOR UR JUDGEMENT

**pure bug boi:** Why is Gonta here?

**kowokichi owoma:** dude you’re more perceptive than you give yourself credit for

**pure bug boi:** Oh! Thank you!

**robocop:** …Why am I here?

**kowokichi owoma:** im desperate and you’re one of the few people that doesn’t hate me

**robocop:** I don’t quite understand you, but I don’t hate you, no. To be honest, I don’t feel like anyone here hates you

**kowokichi owoma:** maki

**robocop:** ...Besides Maki

**kowokichi owoma:** lol

**kowokichi owoma:** ok first rule

**kowokichi owoma:** do NOT tell kaito, maki, or shuuichi

**weed man:** we got ur back

**robocop:** I promise we will not spill your secret!

**pure bug boi:** Gonta will admit, he has noticed you’re quite protective of Kaito! In an.. unorthodox way, but still!

**kowokichi owoma:** see

**weed man:** u right man u right

**weed man:** but why not tell shuuichi?

**kowokichi owoma:** .

**weed man:** oh my god

**weed man:** you like them both don’t you

**kowokichi owoma:** SHUT UPPPP

10:30 AM, “PLS HELP IM GAY”

**weed man:** ok so how serious we talkin here

**weed man:** like just a crush or

**kowokichi owoma:** good question

**kowokichi owoma:** i have no fucking idea

**weed man:** valid

**kowokichi owoma:** i mean they’re both hot

**weed man:** very

**kowokichi owoma:** but. idk. im not really sure

**weed man:** hang out with them at movie night. see how that goes

**kowokichi owoma:** good idea. man, where you get all this advice from, avocado?

**weed man:** 13 sisters.

**kowokichi owoma:** oh yea lol

Saturday, 1:15 PM, main server

**pussy destroyer:** MOVIE NIGHT BIIITCHHHHESSS

**the gayest one here:** movie night!!!!

**magic isnt real:** movie night

**anime is life:** i can’t wait to rewatch my neighbor totoro! i can literally quote every line from that movie

**magic isnt real:** oh mood

**pure tennis boi:** im actually? kinda excited?

**pure bug boi:** !!!

**pure bug boi:** Gonta is also excited!

**edgy detective:** Hey, has anyone heard from Kaito? The last text I got from him was yesterday evening, and I haven’t seen him since.

**kowokichi owoma:** probably still sick!

**team mom:** He is. He requested I bring him some soup earlier this morning. I… do not believe he will be joining us for movie night.

**shaving my piano:** aw, that sucks :(

**edgy detective:** Oh…

**local cryptid:** How unfortunate. This was his idea, if I remember correctly.

**_space jam is online_ **

**kowokichi owoma:** owo?

**space jam:** hey. yea i hate to say it, but i don’t think i’ll be able to go tonight. really sorry, guys

**edgy detective:** It’s okay, Kaito. Recovering is more important

**space jam:** don’t watch any of my space stuff without me lol

**space jam:** i wanna be there for that

**shaving my piano:** we won’t! get better soon!

**space jam:** thanks guys

**_space jam is offline_ **

**kowokichi owoma:** maaan, i really wanted him to come :(

**stabby mcstabby:** Why? So you could annoy him to death?

**kowokichi owoma:** duh! being pranked by me is the best way to die!

**stabby mcstabby:** ...

8:15 PM, main server

**shaving my piano:** everyone almost here?

**team mom:** On my way with snacks

**kowokichi owoma:** look up

**shaving my piano:** what?

**magic isnt real:** why did i here a bunch of screaming

**the gayest one here:** THAT FUCKING DEGENERATE WAS HIDING IN THE VENTS

**pussy destroyer:** PFFFFFFFT

**pussy destroyer:** JFC

**pure tennis boi:** holy fucking shit

8:45 PM, main server

**edgy detective:** Um, I hate to bring this up again, but I’m a little worried about Kaito..

**kowokichi owoma:** don’t worry about him! im sure he’s fine!

**edgy detective:** I mean…

**edgy detetive:** screenshot.png

**edgy detective:** He doesn’t normally type like that, you know?

**team mom:** That is odd. Though I’m assuming he could just be tired

**edgy detective:** Yea… Sorry, I’m probably just worrying too much…

**shaving my piano:** don’t apologize! i mean, it is a little concerning, yea. it’s good you’re worried about him

**edgy detective:** Thanks…

\---

**_DM > Rantaro Amami and Kokichi Ouma_ **

**Rantaro Amami:** you’re leaving to check on him aren’t you

**Kokichi Ouma:** maybe

**Kokichi Ouma:** ...i have a bad feeling about this. there’s something he hasn’t been telling us, i know it

\---

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: artsy fartsy  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood
> 
> when i said movie night chapter i really met the plot is actually starting chapter


	5. holy moly everything's gone to shit (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kaito's arc has officially started
> 
> this is based partially off of personal experience so that's where this came from
> 
> TW: hospitalization, surgery mention, references to illness
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

8:55 PM

He knocked on Kaito’s door once.

 

Twice.

 

Three times.

 

Kokichi would never admit it if he were asked, but now he really was worried. There was a good chance he was worrying over nothing, that Kaito had just been tired and that’s why his typing had been so messy. He had an excuse ready and everything if that did turn out to be the case. But he couldn’t ignore the feeling in his gut that told him it wasn’t.

 

He was about to knock a fourth time when a sharp gasp of pain from the other side of the door stopped him. Yea, Kaito wasn’t asleep at all. Kokichi hurriedly tested the handle, finding it to be unlocked - because of course it was. He forced his expression to be blank as a slate and stepped inside.

 

What he didn’t expect to see was Kaito lying the floor against the bed frame, wheezing in pain with a trash can by his hip.

 

“Wow, you look like shit. What’s up with you?” Kokichi folded his arms behind his head as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He felt a little bad when Kaito jumped, hissing and clutching at his side. Even the slightest movement made whatever pain he was feeling worse.

 

“S-Shut the fuck up. What are… what are you even doing here in the first place?” Sweat dripping down his face, Kaito looked up at Kokichi with a barely-there glare.

 

“Weellll, Shuumai was getting all worried about you, so me being the generous soul I am came to check on you! Guess it’s a good thing I did!” Said gremlin walked right up to Kaito’s side, kneeling down next to him like he wasn’t in extreme pain. “So? Why do you look like you’re about to drop dead, Kai-chan?”

 

“D-Don’t know. Just… dammit, this is serious. S-Something’s wrong, I can tell, but…” He paused, curling in on himself with a loud wheeze. Kaito really did look like shit - feverish, sweaty, his hair for once not even gelled up. Kokichi noticed with worry that the soup Kirumi had left for him had barely been touched, the bowl laying on its side with most of its contents spilling onto the floor.

 

“...How long have you been lying here?” Kokichi gripped his shoulder. Maybe whatever ailment Kaito had gotten was normal, but pain of this intensity wasn’t.

 

“Fuckin’... I don’t know. I-I think the sun was still up, b-but I haven’t really been keepin’ track of-” Kaito cut himself off with another gasp of pain. Kokichi swore he felt his heart stop.

 

“Kaito, the sun set _two hours ago.”_ He didn’t miss the expression of shock that crossed the other boy’s face.

 

“...Shit.”

9:30 PM, main server

 **kowokichi owoma:** ok nobody freak out

 **kowokichi owoma:** but i may or may not have had to call an ambulance to the dorms

 **weed man:** well that was unexpected

 **stabby mcstabby:** Why.

 **the gayest one here:** wtf?! you degenerate that’s scary tf is going on

 **pussy destroyer:** WTF????

 **team mom:** Is that why there is an ambulance outside? I had thought it’d been for someone else, but I’m assuming you called for Kaito?

 **edgy detective:** pleaswe tell me hes ok

 **kowokichi owoma:** ...define ok

 **stabby mcstabby:** What the fuck did you do.

 **kowokichi owoma:** awww, im hurt maki! i didn’t do a thing!

 **stabby mcstabby:** Bullshit.

 **kowokichi owoma:** for once im not lying! i mean, i doubt they would have let me in the ambulance if i had hurt him, yknow?

 **local cryptid:** You are with him? That’s good. Humans often need companionship in times of stress.

 **kowokichi owoma:** yea he’s p stressed lol

 **robocop:** I don’t blame him. That sounds terrible ;;

 **shaving my piano:** kokichi, you’re making shuuichi freak out. will he be ok or not? ;;

 **kowokichi owoma:** woops! and yea he’ll be fine, he’s just not fine rn

 **pure bug boi:** Oh no! Gonta hopes Kaito gets better ;;

 **pure tennis boi:** know what’s wrong with him?

 **anime is life:** oh that’s super scary :(

 **artsy fartsy:** how terrible! angie gives kaito many blessings~!

 **magic isnt real:** nyeh… that ambulance is leaving now. is that you?

 **kowokichi owoma:** yep! and they don’t really know what’s wrong

 **kowokichi owoma:** just that the space idiot’s been lying in his room for at least two hours in a toooon of pain

 **stabby mcstabby:** And he’s stuck with you.

 **kowokichi owoma:** hey, don’t blame me! he asked me to stay!

 **stabby mcstabby:** I’m not buying that.

 **shaving my piano:** well it’s better than him being alone. let us know when you guys get there, okay?

 **kowokichi owoma:** ok!

11:25 PM, main server

 **kowokichi owoma:** ugh, hospitals are so boring

 **edgy detective:** yyou said youd leat us know hwen you got there

 **kowokichi owoma:** woops! yea, i kinda forgot. but!

 **kowokichi owoma:** i have an update

 **stabby mcstabby:** Spill.

 **kowokichi owoma:** turns out he’s got appendicitis so he’s kinda in surgery rn

 **edgy detective:** sso hell be ok?

 **kowokichi owoma:** should be! except he was lying there with no medical assistance for a while, so hopefully his appendix doesn’t just burst in the middle of surgery lol

 **kowokichi owoma:** maaan, you guys are so cruel to have just left him there :((( you guys didn’t even bother checking on him!

 **stabby mcstabby:** Neither did you. Don’t pin this on us.

 **kowokichi owoma:** but i did! imagine if i hadn’t

 **kowokichi owoma:** what woulda happened?

 **kowokichi owoma:** he coulda be dead on his floor by morning!

 **edgy detective:** pleasee stop

**_pure bug boi has muted kowokichi owoma for 1 hour. Reason: Stop_ **

11:33 PM, “PLS HELP IM GAY”

 **weed man:** hey what the hell was that

 **kowokichi owoma:** what was what? owo

 **weed man:** you know what im talking about

 **weed man:** that wasn’t cool, man

 **weed man:** shuuichi is losing his goddamn shit

 **kowokichi owoma:** well, then maybe he should actually care about his “”hero!””

 **robocop:** ...Has he actually called Kaito that?

 **weed man:** yes actually

 **weed man:** but anyway kokichi you’re not making any sense

 **pure bug boi:** Gonta would like to interject

 **pure bug boi:** Gonta does not want to blame Kaito, but he also didn’t tell us he was in pain

 **robocop:** It was also Shuuichi that alerted us to Kaito’s condition in the first place.

 **weed man:** so, it’s no one’s fault

 **weed man:** are you okay, kokichi? you’ve never acted like this before

 **kowokichi owoma:** ok fine

 **kowokichi owoma:** i panicked okay?

 **kowokichi owoma:** i just keep thinking about what would’ve happened if i hadn’t left. i was this close to just staying for movie night

 **kowokichi owoma:** besides, there’s a lot he hasn’t told us, yknow

 **robocop:** How would you know that?

 **kowokichi owoma:** i was in the room when the doc basically spat out his entire medical history lol

 **kowokichi owoma:** it ain’t pretty, but im under a sworn oath to not tell anyone!

 **weed man:** he’ll tell us when he’s ready, i’m sure. but you do bring up a good point. that dumbass could’ve gotten himself killed from not telling us

 **weed man:** not that i wanna know everything, but we should at least know what to watch out for

 **robocop:** I suppose we’ll have to discuss this once he’s better…

 **kowokichi owoma:** oh and uh

 **kowokichi owoma:**...i’m sorry

 **kowokichi owoma:** man, i can’t believe i lied so much i pissed gonta off!

 **pure bug boi:** Gonta doesn’t think you were lying, but what you said was… very rude. Shuuichi is sensitive

 **kowokichi owoma:** yyea ik. i alrleady dmed him

 **pure bug boi:**...Is Kokichi okay? ;; Gonta forgives you! Gonta doesn’t approve of how you handled it, but Gonta knows you’re just upset

**_kowokichi owoma is offline_ **

**weed man:** yea he’s crying. just dmed me

 **weed man:** poor guy. he worries too much for his own good

 

5:00 AM, main server

**_space jam is online_ **

**space jam:** uh

 **space jam:** so i should probably explain some shit

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: artsy fartsy  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood
> 
> next chapter is part two of this hot mess!


	6. holy moly everything's gone to shit (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its kaito... 2!
> 
> TW: literally this whole chapter takes place in a hospital. and idk if anesthesia counts as drugs but i'll put it here anyway just in case
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

5:00 AM, main server

**space jam:** uh

**space jam:** so i should probably explain some shit

**pussy destroyer:** HOLY SHIT UR ALIVE

**space jam:** yea i jus got surgery

**space jam:** still sick af but im fine other than that

**space jam:** these drigs are super strong

**shaving my piano:** that’s great! i think! where’s kokichi? i didn’t see him come back

**space jam:** right next to me lol

**space jam:** idk how. they usualy kick ppl out by now but ig he bugged the nurses enough lol

**space jam:** this feels super fuckin weird lol

 

Kaito set his phone down with a slight laugh, listening as the notifications poured in. A smile, though tired, slowly spread across his face. It sounded like most of them were already awake. As foggy as his mind was, he didn’t like worrying them - especially Shuuichi - but it was good to know they cared about him. His head turned to face Kokichi, who was very obviously trying not to fall asleep.

 

“Hey, thanks for uh… stayin’ with me.” Kaito rose a shaky fist in Kokichi’s general direction, voice croaky and strained. 

 

“Huh? Oh, yea, no problem,” Kokichi mumbled, given Kaito the weakest fistbump he’d ever seen. He had refused to make eye contact with Kaito ever since he’d been wheeled back into his room, but now that he’d surprised the other enough to face him, he saw why. Kokichi’s eyes were bloodshot, only emphasized by how obviously tired he was.

 

“Were ya… crying?” He didn’t miss the brief look of panic in Kokichi’s eyes, even if he was still a little delirious.

 

“Pfft, of course not! Why would I cry over dumb Momo-chan when it’s his fault he’s here in the first place?” 

 

“I mean, I… read back through the chat, y’know? Ya can’t hide you care. ‘S not manly to cry, but… I can... uh...“ Kaito cut himself off with a yawn, a hand lifting to check his phone again. Already at least five DMs from Shuuichi alone.

 

\--

**_DM > Kaito Momota and Shuuichi Saihara_ **

**Shuuichi Saihara:** Kaito?

**Shuuichi Saihara:** youre okay?

**Shuuichi Saihara:** are you there?

**Shuuichi Saihara:** maybe this is dumb to say, but i was really worried

**Shuuichi Saihara:** um, i’ll leavce you alone now. ssorrry

**Kaito Momota:** nah u good. sorry, i was jusst talking to kokichi

**Kaito Momota:** you doin okay?

**Shuuichi Saihara:** not realy

**Kaito Momota:** mmk one secon

\--

**pussy destroyer:** yo space fuck they put u on that anesthesia shit?

**space jam:** ya lol im kinda high af rn and can’t feel most of my body but uh

**space jam:** yea

**space jam:** i can still like think snd shit

**_stabby mcstab is online_ **

 

Kaito couldn’t stop the quiet sigh from leaving him.

 

**stabby mcstab:** He’s still with you?

**space jam:** ya

**space jam:** but anywya uh

**space jam:** i promised kokichi id explain what’sa goin on so

**pure tennis boi:** it’s just appendicitis right? im gonna assume we all know what that is

**space jam:** well yea but. i mean like. other shit

**space jam:** mmk so like. i have a really shit immune system and i get sick super easily. it sucks

**space jam:** dont want ur pity tho im fine

**space jam:** but when i get sick i get hit hard

**space jam:** and i probaly shoulda told ya that

**stabby mcstab:** ...Well, at least you’re fine now.

**shaving my piano:** we understand! just remember we’re here for you

**space jam:** thanks. oh btw ill be outta here in like a day or two. my grandparents should be here in the morning

**space jam:** u guys can visit too if u want!

**edgy detective:** wwe will 

**edgy detective:** ive been really worrried but im glad youre ok

**space jam:** valid sidekick

**edgy detective:** what?

**space jam:** ur valid

**edgy detective:** oh

**stabby mcstab:** When are visiting hours?

**space jam:** fuckin uhhhh

**space jam:** idk

**stabby mcstab:** Regardless, I will be there as soon as possible and personally remove Kokichi from you.

**space jam:** maki ur like

**space jam:** one o my best friends but likke

**space jam:** ya dont gotta do that hes fine

**shaving my piano:** how come he hasn’t said anything yet? is he asleep?

**space jam:** i mean hes right next to me so

**space jam:** like rightght on my

**space jam:** .

**space jam:** which direction is left?

**shaving my piano:** ok, i think u need to sleep lol

**space jam:** yea ill do thar. gn

 

A flurry of what he assumed were goodnight messages and well wishes were sent as Kaito quickly fell asleep. Sleep passed quickly, and he woke up the next morning sore and tired, Kokichi’s head resting on his shoulder as he snored.

 

Oh  _ hell  _ no.

 

Kokichi Ouma was absolutely not cute. Kaito was totally straight. He did not have a crush on Kokichi Ouma, no sir. Absolutely not. Blushing and hearing his heart rate pick up, and without the will to move Kokichi off of him, Kaito sat there and waited. 

 

9:30 AM, main server

**pussy destroyer:** _@spacejam_ YO DIPSHIT WE’RE OTW

**weed man:** not all of us are going bc they probably won’t allow sixteen ultimates into ur room at once, but yea

**weed man:** sorry i didn’t say anything last night, i completely passed out

**space jam:** ur fine lol

**space jam:** god im tired af. and sore af

**space jam:** also if it’s fine with you guys i’d rather see my grandparents first. should be here any second now

**shaving my piano:** of course! family’s always important

**weed man:** take ur time my dude

**pure bug boi:** Gonta’s sorry you’re in pain, but at least you’re better now!

**space jam:** thanks man

**stabby mcstab:** We’ll be in the lobby. Let us know when we can see you.

**space jam:** :thumbsup:

 

Kaito was barely able to send the last message before the curtains in front of him wooshed upon and he was swarmed with hugs. 

 

“H-Hey..” He weakly returned their admittedly tight hold, coughing and lazily slinging an arm over their backs.

 

“Everything alright, son? Are you in any pain?” His grandfather briefly glanced at the slowly shifting form of Kokichi - Kaito had almost completely forgotten he was there.

 

“Yea, no I’m fine.” Blearily Kokichi looked up, shifting his gaze between the two strangers. “This is, uh, Kokichi, a friend of mine. He’s the guy I told ya about last night.”

 

“What a kind young man! Thank you for staying with him… Kokichi, was it?” His grandmother, ruffled Kokichi’s hair, drawing a look of obvious disapproval from the boy. Kaito chuckled, turning his attention back to the two adults that were now sitting down near his stretcher. A brief feeling of jealousy overcame Kokichi as he watched them smother Kaito with attention and concern. Kaito hadn’t noticed the other boy had been holding his hand until he left.

 

\--

 

10:00 AM

 

Kokichi made it maybe two steps into the lobby before he felt a hand pat his shoulder. Jolting and looking up, Rantarou’s eyes were filled with immediate concern.

 

“No offense, but you look like shit. Come sit with us.” Patting him on the back once more, Rantarou led a very tired Kokichi to the many chairs the rest of them were occupying. The tiny boy slumped into a chair next to Shuuichi, the other hesitantly looping an arm around his shoulders.

 

“Um… h-how are you feeling?” Shuuichi didn’t miss the slowly hardening stare from Maki. Neither did Kokichi miss that Shuuichi sounded as exhausted as he felt. 

 

“Great! Just peachy! Space idiot’s grandparents are here, by the way.” Great. His own voice sounded equally as bad, making it painfully obvious how fake his cheery tone was. He couldn’t even look Shuuichi in the eye. As much as Kokichi had apologized and confessed to the detective why he’d said what he said, guilt still ate at him. 

 

“I-It’s okay. Um… you can rest if you want. I won’t bother you.” It was almost like Shuuichi had read his mind with the shy smile he offered. But Kokichi did just as he said, resting his head on Shuuichi’s shoulder and shutting his eyes.

 

12:00 PM

 

He woke up in Rantarou’s arms, right outside Kaito’s room that probably now vaguely smelled of old people. 

 

“M-Maki, really, I’m fine- ow, watch the side.” Kaito laughed and did his best to hug Maki back, even though he looked more exhausted than he had earlier. Shuuichi wasn’t far behind, trying and failing to stop himself from crying into Kaito’s neck.

 

“Hey, what’re you guys so worried for? ‘S not like I died, or anything.” No one laughed.

 

“S-Still, it was really sudden and I-I got worried, and…” Shuuichi burst into tears again, clinging onto Kaito with renewed vigor. Kaito just smiled and pulled him close, running a hand up and down his back.

 

“‘M fine, really. I can’t blame ya for being worried, but you don’t need to cry.” He yawned, eyes slowly drifting shut. Kokichi felt the same, letting himself rest against Rantarou and letting himself drift off to sleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: artsy fartsy  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood
> 
> i have no ideas for the next chapter haha


	7. dank memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAP BIRTH KAITO IM V SORRY THIS IS LATE
> 
> JSUT TAKE MY MEMES THIS ISNT EVEN RELLY A BIRTHDAY CHAPTER
> 
> TW: slight hospital/drug mention and slight implied sexual content (it’s ok nothing happens or is described just There)
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

6:30 AM

 

**space jam:** hhhhhhhhhh

 

**pussy destroyer:** drugs wear off

 

**space jam:** yea

 

**space jam:** this sucks ass

 

**kowokichi owoma:** MEME SQUAD READY

 

**space jam:** what

 

**kowokichi owoma:** 3

 

**kowokichi owoma:** 2

 

**kowokichi owoma:** 1

 

 **kowokichi owoma:** _MEME SQUAD GO_

 

**space jam:** A

 

**space jam:** I LOVE YALL

 

**kowokichi owoma:** uwu

 

**stabby mcstabby:** ?

 

**space jam:** LAUGHING HURTS BUT HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL?

 

**space jam:** and so many memes stashed holy shit

 

**kowokichi owoma:** yea lol

 

**pussy destroyer:** WAIT THE TWINK HAS A YOUTUBE CHANNEL??????

 

**pussy destroyer:** WHERES THE FUCKING LINK OP

 

6:45 AM

 

**pussy destroyer:** SUBSCRIBED BITCH

 

**kowokichi owoma:** yet another loyal follower uwu

 

**edgy detective:** are you feeling better kaito?

 

**space jam:** mentally yes

 

**space jam:** gonna be here for a while tho :(

 

**shaving my piano:** ah that sucks :(

 

**shaving my piano:** we’ll be sure to celebrate when you get back!!

 

**space jam:** hell yea

 

**pure bug boi:** :bug: :heart: !!!!!

 

**space jam:** p u r e

 

12:00 PM

 

**pure tennis boi:** who the fuck is banging on the wall

 

**pure bug boi:** Gonta hears it too…

 

**pussy destroyer:** YALL JUST HEARD THAT???

 

**pussy destroyer:** SHIT’S BEEN GOIN ON FOR HALF A GODDAMN HOUR

 

**edgy detective:** kokichi is that… you?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** YEA

 

**kowokichi owoma:** AND IM NOT BANGING ON THE WALLS IM BANGING ON THE CEILING

 

**magic isnt real:** ...why….

 

**gayest one here:** U BETTER QUIT IT DEGENERATE

 

**kowokichi owoma:** TELL THE PPL ABOVE MY ROOM TO STOP BANGING FIRST

 

**pussy destroyer:** wait-

 

**edgy detective:** is that you laughing miu

 

**pussy destroyer:** YEA CAUSE THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS

 

**kowokichi owoma:** IT REALLY ISNT

 

**edgy detective:** how long has that uh. been going on?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** SINCE WE GOT HERE

 

**edgy detective:** oh.

 

**local cryptid:** I just walked past. He is screaming “I DIDNT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YALL, YALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF ME”

 

**edgy detective:** oh god american memes

 

**space jam:** korekiyo typing in all caps is weird

 

**space jam:** also wtf did i miss

 

**pussy destroyer:** IM FUCKING FILMING THIS

 

**kowokichi owoma:** PLEASE DO

 

**kowokichi owoma:** SEND IT TO THEM

 

1:03 PM

 

**pussy destroyer:** HELP 

 

**pussy destroyer:** maxgremlin.mov

 

**team mom:** Ah. So that’s where my broom went.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** UR NOT GETTING IT BACK

 

**team mom:** Actually, I don’t care. I support this endeavor

 

**kowokichi owoma:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

**space jam:** this is fucking gold

 

**stabby mcstabby:** .

 

**stabby mcstabby:** The noise is annoying, but whatever’s going on above your room sounds worse. So for once I agree with you

 

**space jam:** damn you got both maki roll and kirumi to agree with you

 

**stabby mcstabby:** Don’t call me that.

 

**space jam:** k

 

**kowokichi owoma:** lol

 

**kowokichi owoma:** they stopped so i think they got the message uwu

 

**kowokichi owoma:** but this isnt the end.

 

6:45 PM

 

**team mom:** Why is the floor of the dorm hall above us covered in pain?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** :3c

 

**team mom:** I see.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** p sure the ppl in the room above me hate my guts but i hate them too so its fine

 

**space jam:** :clap: :clap: :clap:

 

**space jam:** kick their asses

 

**kowokichi owoma:** dice never forgets.

 

**space jam:** terrifying

 

7:30 PM

 

**space jam:** OH FUCK ITS MY BDAY

 

**shaving my piano:** OH FUCK

 

**kowokichi owoma:** omg kaede cursed

 

**shaving my piano:** _ I FORGOT _

 

**space jam:** ITS OK SO DID I

 

**weed man:** man ur in the hospital on ur birthday

 

**weed man:** sucks man

 

**pure bug boi:** Oh! Happy birthday!

 

**space jam:** IKR

 

**shaving my piano:** WE’LL CELEBRATE WHEN YOU GET BACK

 

**space jam:** THANKS

 

1:12 AM

 

**weed man:** pizza rolls

 

**weed man:** are just italian gushers

 

**pure tennis boi:** literally shut the fuckup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: artsy fartsy  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> ALSO thank yall for the nice comments yall some good memes uwu


	8. boof bork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be kaito's arc but gonta is currently holding me at gunpoint so ig his arc is also starting. time for dumb bois
> 
> whoever gets the fimally reference gets a cookie
> 
> TW: minor descriptions of bullying/discrimination
> 
> anyways gonta said fuck terfs
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

8:30 AM

 

**pure tennis boi:** im losing my goddamn shit

 

**weed man:** you good bro

 

**pure tennis boi:** no im losing my goddamn shit

 

**shaving my piano:** everything okay?

 

**pure tennis boi:** yea

 

**pure tennis boi:** ok so

 

**pure tennis boi:** im in the library with gonta helping him with math right

 

**space jam:** valid math is a bitch

 

**pussy destroyer:** YOURE LITERALLY A GOD OF PHYSICS BUT GO OFF IG

 

**space jam:** true but math still sucks

 

**pussy destroyer:** fair

 

**space jam:** also its sunday what are yall doing in the library

 

**pure tennis boi:** tf i just say

 

**pure tennis boi:** anyway

 

**pure tennis boi:** so this guy at a table near ours starts being a dick. for some reason everyone in my class kinda hates gonta?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** They Will Perish

 

**team mom:** They will.

 

**pure tennis boi:** yea. gonta is gonta so it’s not like he does anything but. holy fuck this guy is tall. like taller than gonta

 

**pure tennis boi:** could snap me like a twig

 

**space jam:** WAIT WAIT WAIT

 

**space jam:** I THINK I KNOW WHO THAT IS HOLY SHIT

 

**space jam:** SUPER TALL, ALWAYS WEARS HIS UNIFORM WRONG SOMEHOW?

 

**pure tennis boi:** yea

 

**space jam:** HOLY SHIT

 

**space jam:** YEA IDK HIS NAME BUT THAT GUY’S A DICK

 

**pure tennis boi:** yea. so the guy flings like one (1) insult at me and ig that pissed gonta off cause he immediately stood up. i honestly thought they were gonna start fighting

 

**pussy destroyer:** KICK HIS ASS BIG DICK

 

**pure tennis boi:** never refer to him as that again but anyway yea. 

 

**pure tennis boi:** but this is gonta we’re talking about

 

**pure tennis boi:** he tells the guy to leave and this asshole fucking. throws a wholeass chair at him

 

**space jam:** WHAT?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** give me his name and address he’s getting himself Pranked immediately

 

**shaving my piano:** omg is gonta ok?

 

**pure tennis boi:** he caught the chair

 

**shaving my piano:** a

 

**pure tennis boi:** with one hand

 

**pussy destroyer:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

**space jam:** HOLY SHIT NICE

 

**local cryptid:** That is… quite impressive.

 

**team mom:** If he got in trouble I will go to administration myself.

 

**pure tennis boi:** he didnt lol

 

**kowokichi owoma:** we stan

 

**pussy destroyer:** we fucking STAN

 

**pure bug boi:** Stan…?

 

**pussy destroyer:** HES HERE

 

**pure bug boi:** Hello!

 

**pure bug boi:** Oh! Sorry, Gonta didn’t mean to get angry ^^; Gonta just doesn’t like it when people hurt his friends...

 

**space jam:** do NOT apologize that asshole deserved to be shook for once

 

**kowokichi owoma:** shook

 

**space jam:** yea

 

**pure tennis boi:** nah ur good. its rare someone actually defends me so

 

**pure bug boi:** Why wouldn’t I defend you? You’re a good friend!

 

**anime is life:** :oho:

 

**weed man:** tsumugi no

 

**anime is life:** Tsumugi Yes

 

6:30 PM

 

**pussy destroyer:** tf happened to this chat

 

**pussy destroyer:** where tf are yall

 

**space jam:** sleeping

 

**pussy destroyer:** oh right lol

 

**stabby mcstabby:** I got my phone taken away. Stole it back.

 

**team mom:** Maki.

 

**stabby mcstabby:** Not giving it back.

 

**pussy destroyer:** HOLY SHIT YOU GOT IN TROUBLE???

 

**pussy destroyer:** DETAILS. NOW.

 

**stabby mcstabby:** Punched a guy. Think it was the tall asshole that threw a chair at Gonta, actually.

 

**pure bug boi:** He did have a bruise on his cheek…

 

**stabby mcstabby:** Good.

 

**team mom:** I suppose I can let that go. He’s in my home ec class. He is a nightmare.

 

**space jam:** HE THINKS HE’S HOT SHIT AT PHYSICS. HE’S NOT.

 

**space jam:** AT ALL

 

**kowokichi owoma:** he’s like a plague holy shit

 

**stabby mcstabby:** Like you.

 

**space jam:** kokichi is an angel compared to him ngl

 

**kowokichi owoma:** awww, kai-chan thinks im a pwecious wittle angel? c:

 

**space jam:** i take it back

 

**weed man:** too late

 

**edgy detective:** i think he’s super transphobic too…

 

**pure bug boi:** He’s dead.

 

**edgy detective:** oh

 

**pure tennis boi:** JFC

 

**pussy destroyer:** HOLY SHIT

 

**pussy destroyer:** GO OFF GONTA

 

**kowokichi owoma:** SSHGKHKGHKGSKG

 

**space jam:** HOLY FUCK

 

**local cryptid:** Why are you booing him? He’s right.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** oh we aren’t booing him trust me

 

**artsy fartsy:** Atua will smite him!

 

**_artsy fartsy changed their name to will of atua_ **

 

**space jam:** terrifying

 

**weed man:** oh where have u been angie?

 

**will of atua:** Angie also got her phone taken away!

 

**weed man:** valid

 

**team mom:** Please stop getting in trouble we’ve only been in school for a few weeks.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** no promises

 

12:00 AM

 

**weed man:** hot take

 

**pure tennis boi:** no

 

8:30 AM

 

**team mom:** Gonta, I apologize sincerely.

 

**pure bug boi:** It’s okay…

 

**weed man:** something happen?

 

**pure bug boi:** For some reason everyone thinks Gonta isn’t smart… Well, not everyone, but a lot. Usually they’re right, though...

 

**pure tennis boi:** they will pay with their blood

 

**pussy destroyer:** BITCH NO THEY FUCKING AINT

 

**pussy destroyer:** YOURE LITERALLY A FUCKING SCIENTIST

 

**pussy destroyer:** THEYRE THE DUMB ONES

 

**pure bug boi:** That is true..

 

**pure bug boi:** Thank you!

 

**kowokichi owoma:** k so prank the entirety of the 80th class till they fear my very name

 

**edgy detective:** why all of the 80th?

 

**space jam:** they’re assholes

 

**space jam:** p much all of them

 

**team mom:** I feel bad for the few decent people in that class.

 

**magic isnt real:** nyeh…. they say that stuff about me too. well mostly how im just lazy even tho my grades are pretty good

 

**magic isnt real:** projects are just so dumb though….

 

**kowokichi owoma:** is it the depression

 

**magic isnt real:** yea

 

**gayest one here:** They Will Pay With Their Blood

 

**will of atua:** they shall!

 

**pure tennis boi:** bless the 77th and 78th tho

 

**anime is life:** sayaka’s so nice!

 

**pure bug boi:** Gonta’s already good friends with Nekomaru and Gundham!

 

**edgy detective:** hajime’s nice

 

**space jam:** they all are tbh   
  
**space jam:** except hiyoko she’s kinda mean

 

**kowokichi owoma:** >:3c

 

**space jam:** oh fuck are you two friends

 

**kowokichi owoma:** _ >:3c _

 

**team mom:** Oh no.

 

**space jam:** oh no

 

**weed man:** why am i not surprised

 

\--

 

**_DM > Ryouma Hoshi and Rantarou Amami_ **

 

**Ryouma Hoshi:** hey so you have that server with kokichi right

 

**Rantarou Amami:** yea

 

**Rantarou Amami:** how’d u know tho?

 

**Ryouma Hoshi:** do u honestly think he’s good at hiding his crushes

 

**Rantarou Amami:** good point. still u wanna join or something?

 

**Rantarou Amami:** wait

 

**Rantarou Amami:** oh i see what’s going on here lol. yea ill invite you

 

**Ryouma Hoshi:** .

 

**Ryouma Hoshi:** am i a fucking book

 

**Rantarou Amami:** wait i almost forgot. gonta’s in that server

 

**Ryouma Hoshi:** NVM

 

\--

8:45 AM

  
  


**_Ryouma Hoshi has created “im a fucking disaster”_ **

 

**_Ryouma Hoshi has invited 6 people_ **

 

**_Ryouma Hoshi has changed their name to im a fucking disaster_ **

 

**im a fucking disaster:** sup

 

**_6 people have changed their names_ **

 

**shaving my piano:** uh, hi! what’s this for?

 

**im a fucking disaster:** me

 

**anime is life:** owo

 

**im a fucking disaster:** tf is with the face

 

**anime is life:** its gonta isnt it? owo

 

**im a fucking disaster:** _ am i a fucking book _

 

**kowokichi owoma:** yea lol

 

**weed man:** lol

 

**im a fucking disaster:** shut

 

**magic is real:** why am i here….

 

**im a fucking disaster:** ur chill

 

**magic is real:** k

 

**team mom:** Is.. dating advice what you’re looking for?

 

**im a fucking disaster:** not really? idk if i want a relationship yet but

 

**anime is life:** you have an interest? owo

 

**im a fucking disaster:** i regret inviting you

 

**anime is life:** uwu

 

**kowokichi owoma:** uwu

 

**shaving my piano:** uwu

 

**im a fucking disaster:** stop

 

**weed man:** uwu

 

**im a fucking disaster:** gfdi

 

11:00 AM, main server

 

**kowokichi owoma:** omg we never named this server

 

**_kowokichi owoma renamed this server to “memey screamies”_ **

 

**space jam:** why

 

**kowokichi owoma:** uwu

 

**anime is life:** uwu

 

**pure tennis boi:** jfc not again

 

**pure bug boi:** Again?

 

**pure tennis boi:** you heard nothing

 

**pure bug boi:** We’re typing.

 

**space jam:** SDJHGKHSG

 

**pussy destroyer:** BOOM ROASTED

 

**robocop:** ...memey screamies?

 

**robocop:** May I ask why?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** why not uwu

 

2:00 PM

 

**space jam:** EYYYYY GUESS WHO’S GETTING RELEASED TOMOROWW

 

**edgy detective:** oh! you’re coming back then?

 

**space jam:** HELL FUCKING YEA I AM

 

**kowokichi owoma:** fimally! ive missed my wittle kai-chan so much :(

 

**space jam:** COURSE YOU DO IM AWESOME

 

**anime is life:** woosh

 

**edgy detective:** i really have missed you a lot

 

**space jam:** ME TOO SIDEKICK

 

**space jam:** i gotta take it easy but like hell is that gonna stop me!

 

**shaving my piano:** oh that’s great! don’t push yourself too hard though!

 

**space jam:** nah dont worry about me

 

**space jam:** feeling a lot better already!

 

**pure bug boi:** !!!

 

**weed man:** that’s lit man

 

**robocop:** It’s been very quiet without you. It’ll be great to have you back!

 

**space jam:** yall are the best

 

**pussy destroyer:** HELL YEA

 

**pussy destroyer:** U NEED A RIDE?

 

**space jam:** nah my grandparents are dropping me off. thanks tho

 

**pure tennis boi:** miu you can drive?

 

**pussy destroyer:** YOU BET UR ASS I CAN

 

**pussy destroyer:** ok well i dont have a license but

 

**team mom:** Miu.

 

**pussy destroyer:** o shit-

 

4:00 PM

 

**edgy detective:** aren’t midterms soon?

 

**weed man:** oh fuck

 

**pussy destroyer:** SHIT

 

**space jam:** fuck how much have i missed

 

**pure bug boi:** Gonta collected notes for you! 

 

**team mom:** I got the rest.

 

**space jam:** yall are lifesavers

 

**pure bug boi:** You didn’t miss much in biology, don’t worry!

 

**space jam:** yea i figured. i wasn’t gone for that long lol

 

6:00 PM

 

**weed man:** hot take

 

**pure tennis boi:** wtf is with you and ur hot takes

 

**weed man:** insomnia

 

**pussy destroyer:** same

 

**edgy detective:** same

 

**kowokichi owoma:** same

 

**team mom:** It’s only 6…

 

**weed man:** and i haven’t slept in 24 hours what’s ur point

 

**local cryptid:** 24 hours? Please rest.

 

**weed man:** trying lol

 

12:30 AM

 

**kowokichi owoma:** do you think horses have dreams

 

**team mom:** Go to bed.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: he's not there once ouma changes nicknames but it's edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: will of atua  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood


	9. this is a clusterfuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what im doing anymore
> 
> take memes
> 
> but yea we're fuckin back
> 
> thank yall for ur comments btw! i dont have time/energy to respond to them individually but they mean a lot
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

memey screamies 8:45AM

 

**team mom:** I hear screaming.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** guess who’s back

 

**kowokichi owoma:** back again

 

**pure bug boi:** Oh!

 

**pussy destroyer:** WHERE HE AT

 

**space jam:** WHATS UP

 

**edgy detective:** !!!!!

 

**space jam:** so many hugs afhjgsghk

 

**magic isnt real:** duh. we missed you

 

**space jam:** MISSED YALL TOO

 

**kowokichi owoma:** yall

 

**weed man:** yall

 

**will of atua:** yall!

 

11:30 AM

 

**stabby mcstab:** Please someone come take care of this literal manchild

 

**pussy destroyer:** hey bitchlet he had surgery like a few fucking days ago maybe cut him some slack

 

**space jam:** THESE PAIN MEDS DONT DO SHIT

 

**edgy detective:** hold on! im on my way

 

**space jam:** UR THE BEST

 

**shaving my piano:** you’re so nice shuuichi!

 

**edgy detective:** thakakgkksgjsjg

 

**kowokichi owoma:** you broke him

 

**pure tennis boi:** no hes just trying to text while running down the stairs

 

**weed man:** f

 

**magic isnt real:** nyeh… what was that noise…

 

**weed man:** did. did he actually fall

 

**pure tennis boi:** yea

 

**pure tennis boi:** kiibo’s got it

 

**kowokichi owoma:** oh! now its my turn to take care of kai-chan!

 

**stabby mcstab:** Hell no.

 

**space jam:** nah its cool he was in the hospital with me anyway

 

**_stabby mcstab has gone offline_ **

 

**pussy destroyer:** whats her fuckin deal

 

**pure tennis boi:** who fuckin knows

 

1:00 PM

 

**space jam:** did yall know kokichi can cook?

 

**space jam:** like. surprisingly well?

 

**team mom:** The last time he even touched the kitchen he nearly broke the dishwasher.

 

**space jam:** ok tru but like

 

**space jam:** smell that

 

**weed man:** shit hes right

 

**robocop:** would you all please stop falling down the stairs?!

 

**weed man:** no

 

**weed man:** it's the fastest way to get down

 

**local cryptid:** You are one of the most fascinating people I've ever met.

 

**weed man:** im taking that as a compliment

 

**local cryptid:** Don't.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** f

 

6:00 PM

 

**space jam:** WTF IS "UWU VOICE"

 

**space jam:** I CANT UNDERSTAND LIKE HALF OF WHAT YALL ARE SAYING

 

**kowokichi owoma:** whatevew do u mean kai-chan? :3c

 

**kowokichi owoma:** evewything im saying is pewfectwy undewstandable uwu

 

**pure bug boi:** uwu

 

**pure tennis boi:** oh no

 

**pure bug boi:** owo

 

**pure tennis boi:** who taught him that

 

**kowokichi owoma:** owo?

 

**pure tennis boi:** you.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** me uwu

 

\--

 

**_DM > Kaito Momota and Rantarou Amami_ **

 

**Kaito Momota:** hey i need help with something

 

**Rantarou Amami:** oh for the love of god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi. im a fucking disaster in his private server  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: will of atua  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma
> 
> comments are my lifeblood
> 
> also those two ""characters"" above kokichi's room from like a few chapters ago aren't important. they're just. there


	10. CREEPER. awww man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be just memes but
> 
> well
> 
> here we are
> 
> TW: very slight suicide mention
> 
> edit: hi i have a discord now here's the link: https://discord.gg/aEaJXqh (idk if this is clickable so you might have to just copy/paste it?)

5:30 AM

 

**pussy destroyer:** *inhale*

 

**pure tennis boi:** oh dear god what

 

**pussy destroyer:** CREEPER

 

**weed man:** awwww man

 

**kowokichi owoma:** SO WE BACK IN THE MINE

 

**weed man:** got our picaxe swingin from

 

**pussy destroyer:** side to side

 

**space jam:** what the fuck is going on

 

**kowokichi owoma:** DAMMIT

 

**kowokichi owoma:** >:(

 

**pussy destroyer:** YALL BETTER STFU

 

**shaving my piano:** are you guys ok? ;;^^

 

**weed man:** yall gotta catch up on ur memes

 

**team mom:** …

 

**team mom:** Is this what I’ve been hearing you all scream in the hallways?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** its mostly our class lol

 

**team mom:** …

 

**team mom:** We’re only a few months into school and I’m already tired of each and every single one of you.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** .

 

**kowokichi owoma:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MOM HATES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

**space jam:** are you fake crying over text

 

**kowokichi owoma:** awww you caught me!

 

**edgy detective:** it’s not just over text

 

**stabby mcstab:** f

 

**pussy destroyer:** TH

 

**pussy destroyer:** DID THE BITCH WITH A STICK UP HER BUTT JUST MEME

 

**stabby mcstab:** Call me that again and you’ll regret it.

 

**pussy destroyer:** eep

 

**magic isnt real:** ...why are you guys screaming about memes at five in the morning

 

**kowokichi owoma:** insomnia

 

**weed man:** insomnia

 

**pure tennis boi:** insomnia

 

**edgy detective:** depression

 

**space jam:** ...you good bro

 

**space jam:** wait actually what are you doing with kokichi at five in the morning

 

**edgy detective:** .

 

**kowokichi owoma:** gotta blast!

 

**_edgy detective is offline_ **

 

**_kowokichi owoma is offline_ **

 

**pussy destroyer:** OH THEY FUCKIN

 

**pure tennis boi:** miu for the love of god

 

**_anime is life is online_ **

 

**weed man:** tsumugi no

 

**anime is life:** TSUMUGI YES

 

7:00 AM

 

**pussy destroyer:** ok no but really @edgy detective @kowokichi owoma what the fuck were yall gay asses doin

 

**edgy detective:** im pan

 

**pussy destroyer:** thats fair

 

**pussy destroyer:** now answer the Fucking question

 

**kowokichi owoma:** oh i got it!

 

**edgy detective:** kokichi please

 

**kowokichi owoma:** shuumai was having a nightmare so my kind and gentle self offered to stay with him!

 

**edgy detective:** oh

 

**kowokichi owoma:** what u thought i was gonna lie? im not that mean!

 

**stabby mcstab:** You are neither kind or gentle.

 

**pussy destroyer:** shut it bimbo

 

**shaving my piano:** oh! that’s real nice of you kokichi ;)

 

**kowokichi owoma:** haha yea

 

**pure bug boi:** Is Shuuichi ok? ;;

 

**edgy detective:** yea im better now

 

**pure bug boi:** That’s good!

  
  


PLS HELP IM GAY server

7:15 AM

 

**kowokichi owoma:** PLS HELP IM VERY GAY

 

**weed man:** so you and shuu have been hanging out huh

 

**pure bug boi:** Why don’t you just ask them out?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** haha

 

**kowokichi owoma:** ha

 

**kowokichi owoma:** thats funny. ur funny

 

**pure bug boi:** I am?

 

**kowokichi owoma:** poly relationships arent at all common and there’s no way im lucky enough that the two guys im crushing on just so happen to all feel the same way

 

**robocop:** Kokichi.

 

**kowokichi owoma:** yea

 

**robocop:** Why not give it a shot? What do you have to lose?

 

**robocop:** It doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic date, just an excuse to hang out.

 

**robocop:** All three of you like each other

 

**kowokichi owoma:** oh

 

**weed man:** lol ur helpless

 

**kowokichi owoma:** shut up mr “i have a crush on the local cryptid”

 

**weed man:** .

 

**kowokichi owoma:** mmk once kaito’s better. i might. do that

 

**weed man:** grow a pair and ask em out

 

**kowokichi owoma:** grow a pair and ask kiyo out

 

**weed man:** fuck you

  
  


memey screamies

12:00 PM

 

**gayest one here:** ngl ive never been more turned on by a woman in my life

 

**local cryptid:** ...Context?

 

**pussy destroyer:** :oho: :oho: :oho:

 

**shaving my piano:** ...really, tenko?

 

**gayest one here:** WHAT??? IM COMPLIMENTING YOU

 

**gayest one here:** IVE NEVER SEEN A WOMAN EXUDE SUCH POWERFUL ENERGY BEFORE

 

k **owokichi owoma:** ohhhh did kayayday finally go off?

 

**shaving my piano:** well yea when you’ve had a shitty day and someone tells ur friend to go kill himself   
  
**shaving my piano:** you’re gonna be pretty fucking pissed

 

**kowokichi owoma:** .

 

**kowokichi owoma:** was this directed at shuuichi by any chance

 

**shaving my piano:** ..yea, unfortunately

 

**space jam:** WHO SAID THAT

 

**shaving my piano:** honestly i have no idea i was seeing red

 

**shaving my piano:** i really have no idea what i said ;;^^

 

**edgy detective:** um

 

**pussy destroyer:** you good?

 

**edgy detective:** nnot realyl

 

**edgy detective:** but. thankes kaede

 

**shaving my piano:** np!

 

**space jam:** WHOSE ASS DO I GOTTA KICK

 

**edgy detective:** mine

 

**space jam:** dude

 

**team mom:** Do you need anything?

 

**edgy detective:** uh

 

**edgy detective:** (hgnngng kaito cna i dm u)

 

**space jam:** (yea sure thing bro)

 

**team mom:** Do you need anything, Kaede?

 

**shaving my piano:** ..i guess, yea. sitting here alone isn’t gonna make me any less pissed off

 

\---

 

**DM > Gonta Gokuhara and Kaede Akamatsu**

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Who said that.

 

**Kaede Akamatsu:** no offense but i’ve had enough violence and drama for one day

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Oh Gonta isn’t going to fight anyone!

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** just

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** give them a stern talk

 

**_Kaede Akamatsu sent a photo_ **

 

**Kaede Akamatsu:** think it was him. at the very least i know this asshat is friends with some shitty people

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** You’re swearing a lot…

 

**Kaede Akamatsu:** yea

 

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Do you want a hug?

 

**Kaede Akamatsu:** ...yea

 

\---

 

5:00 PM

 

**pussy destroyer:** @edgy detective YO DIPSHIT

 

**pussy destroyer:** you good

 

**edgy detective:** better now

 

**edgy detective:** you guys are too nice to me skgsgshgk

 

**shaving my piano:** it’s the unconditional friendship

 

**pure bug boi:** You deserve it!

 

**edgy detective:** hgnngnnhngngngngn

 

**kowokichi owoma:** awww, is shuumai gettin all fwustewed? owo

 

**edgy detective:** a little bit

 

**edgy detective:** im not really used to affection but. thanks

 

**pure tennis boi:** same hat

 

**shaving my piano:** valid!

 

**space jam:** glad we can help!

 

12:30 AM

 

**kowokichi owoma:** <<

 

**kowokichi owoma:** >>

 

**kowokichi owoma:** ...creeper

 

**pussy destroyer:** AWWW MAN

 

**pure tennis boi:** i hate all of you

 

**_pure tennis boi is offline_ **

 

**kowokichi owoma:** SO WE BACK IN THE MINE

 

**pussy destroyer:** GOT OTUTER PICKACE SWINGIN FORM

 

**kowokichi owoma:** SIDE TO SIDE

 

**pussy destroyer:** siDE SDIE TO SIDE

 

**kowokichi owoma:** go to bed

 

**pussy destroyer:** you firtet virgin

 

**weed man:** how about you both go to bed

 

**kowokichi owoma:** no

 

**pussy destroyer:** no

 

\---

 

**DM > Shuuichi Saihara and Rantarou Amami**

 

**Shuuichi Saihara:** hey this. might be a weird question but

 

**Shuuichi Saihara:** i need your help with something

 

**Rantarou Amami:** OH MY FUCKING GOD

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry shuu will get some confidence later
> 
> list of names bc i'll forget them if i don't write em down:  
> Shuuichi: edgy detective  
> Kaede: shaving my piano  
> Himiko: magic isnt real  
> Maki: stabby mcstab  
> Kiibo: robocop  
> Tsumugi: anime is life  
> Rantaro: weed man  
> Ryouma: pure tennis boi. im a fucking disaster in his private server  
> Kirumi: team mom  
> Korekiyo: local cryptid  
> Tenko: gayest one here  
> Angie: will of atua  
> Gonta: pure bug boi  
> Miu: pussy destroyer  
> Kaito: space jam  
> Kokichi: kowokichi owoma


End file.
